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A.k.a nadia download free song. Where can I find the fiilm plz. How can I watch the whole short? can one buy it or rent it on line. A.k.a nadia download free movie. 0:58 broer van Mr. Grey. Its been quite a start to the new year and I have a lot to unpack with you. Although I coach women of color as a form of profession, I still have to work around my own sabotaging thoughts with my own coach. I shared the feeling of disconnect on my  Instagram  after my recent move from San Francisco to Oakland. It was so exciting but after settling into the new space, I felt doubt and fear. Had I made a mistake in moving? That thought snowballed into →) Am I on the right path? And I needed to respond to these questions with mindfulness and gratitude. Its OK to be sad. Its OK to be tired. Its OK to plant seeds. Its OK to not have roots yet. I am so grateful for my clients and the way they re-energize my passion for this work. My  January Cohort of Badass WOC Negotiators  have committed to their journeys with honesty. In our first weeks of the program they have admitted to their challenges, weaknesses, and moments in which they have played it small. One of the members identified some amazing quotes from our video chat: Saboteurs aren't my identity... A saboteur is a concept that embodies a group of thought processes and feelings that maintains the status quo in our lives. Surviving is not thriving. Staying silent is doing the oppressors work. Do any of those quotes resonate with you? And to those who missed the sign-up period for the Badass WOC Negotiators group coaching program, don't worry because I have great news.   My  1-on-1 coaching program  is opening back up and it is perfect for those who are ready to up-level their leadership, money, and career. This 6-month program is catered to your challenges and goals. During this time we will focus on the things you need most to build the foundation for sustainable change. Here's what's included: ✓ One 75-minute Intake & Design Session (video or phone) ✓ 11 45-minute Coaching Sessions (video or phone) ✓ Three 15-minute Life Line Calls (phone) ✓ Intake Forms, Exercises and Worksheets ✓ E-mail Support in-between sessions Youre 100% capable of having the creative, free and purpose-driven career and life that you want. Want to see how my client  Rejoy A.  was able to quit her 9-to-5 and jump start her art business through our six months working together? Watch the video below. At the end of last year, I led a vision boarding workshop for WOCs. This was my first workshop as a leadership coach, and I was nervous and excited!  We leaned into a word that represented their entire year and one word that they wanted to embody in 2019, as I guided them through a reflection and future visualization. The results of our exercise were transformational! Many tears, so much vibration in the air and a lot of unraveling and rebuilding happened in those two hours. This workshop didnt just transform the participants, it  transformed me as a new coach. I was a year into my business, and decided a couple months prior “this was it. Im not going back to corporate, Im making it my mission to make my business work and to help as many WOCs as possible.  Creating and holding the safe space, seeing the shifts in those who joined us that day and guiding them to their visions for 2019, changed me. I felt how much of a newbie I was at group work in the coaching world, and I embraced the power within me to come out in service of everyones growth. It was electrifying and I wanted more of this love and energy that coaching fills me with. I knew this was my calling. For 2019, my word was MASTERY. After this workshop, I realized wanting more of this (coaching, workshops, helping WOCs and all the things) meant mastery in my craft. To be a master of coaching meant to coach every damn day, as much as fucking possible. To be fully of service and in service in every single session, with undivided attention. To continue ready, listening and learning in more coursework and trainings. As a result: In the past 365 days Ive coached 30+ individuals in long term 1:1 work, launched my first group coaching program and have led multiple leadership trainings for organizations. To be a master of facilitation and speaking meant to do as many workshops and talks as possible.  As a result: In these past 365 days Ive conducted 10 workshops, 2 panels, 1 talk and 4 podcasts.  To be a master of business meant I needed to learn how to learn marketing and sales for coaching businesses, taxes, healthcare for self-employed folks. To keep my head up. To 100% believe in myself and my ability to create income, do the inner and outer work every damn day. To invest in support. As a result: In these past 365 days Ive failed a lot. Ive been extremely stressed and have never worked so hard in my life (and thats saying something. Ive experimented, Ive taken multiple risks. Ive invested in help: 3 business coaches, 1 life coach, 1 content strategist manager, 1 virtual assistant and a 1 CPA and 1 bookkeeper.  To be a master of my personal life and joy meant to seriously question the days I was burnt out and overworked. To get coaching around what blocks me from creating the life and business I really want. To get coaching around decolonizing my life and mindset. To set boundaries and experiment with my schedule. To say fuck no to racism I experienced. To finally make the decision to move after 14 years of living in San Francisco. To build new communities, friends and colleagues who are also business owners and entrepreneurs. To love on all my old friends, who know me so well at my core. As a result: Im not fully where I want to be yet. I still lean towards work more than balance, but my awareness of the stories that hold me back is on point. Im able to take a step back and reset, over and over again, as many times as I have to to get me back on track. This is what mastery and leadership looks like: not doing things alone. I am more of a master than I was 365 days ago. The reason I choose a single word to use as my foundation and them for the new year, because goals are always a way of life regardless of the time of year. My goals list is endless, its all about prioritization and organization. This single word is an intention, its a perspective and framework to always take a step back and reset to when I get overwhelmed or lost in the hustle. For 2020, my word is AMPLIFY. Amplify to me means power. Owning my power as a Woman of Color, as a Pinay, business owner, daughter, sister, wife, friend and Earth-resident.  Amplify is to activate my voice and reach bigger audiences, influencing even more WOCs to find their North Stars and manifest the money, roles and relationships they want. Amplify means to intentionally blow up my ripple effect 100x as much as possible, creating the positive impact I really want to make for my clients and communities. Amplify means to be abundant. To make beyond my wildest dreams by leveling up my business. To have overflow and give more to the people I want to help most. To call in money so that it comes to me easily. Amplify means to reach higher than my inner saboteurs want me to believe I could ever go. To reach for something I may not even see quite yet. Amplify means to be united and one with my inner leader, my deepest wisdom, intuition and power that just knows I am on the path Im meant to be on. As you end this decade, reflect:  What is the word you would choose to define what 2019 meant for you? What is the word you want to embody as your theme for 2020? Whatever it is you choose, start to list out ways you can embody and act upon your new intention even today, the next week and month. No need to wait till January 1st to get started. Youve got this, gurl. Amplify your power. Its time to talk about how coaching helped my client negotiate a 25, 000 raise and promotion. Lets start with how she started: Supes freakin anxious and not sure how to negotiate. These nervous, doubtful reactions are totes natural for Women of Color. Almost everyone I work with have never ever negotiated before, because no one ever told them how and/or they were too scared to try. Some of the clients main reasons for her nervous reactions around negotiating was a bunch of this* this is a screenshot from her pre-session reflection sheet. Clients fill these out before a coaching session so I can sync up with them and we can hit the ground running. Side note: I LOVE that she called herself out at the end #selfawareness #sustainablechange) Women of Color tell themselves THESE LIES^ all the damn time. Except me. JK! I kid, I kid. Let me be the first to drop my stone on the ground and say that Im guilty of ALL of those thoughts, too. Theyre the exact same thoughts that stopped me from negotiating my first two salaried roles and totally bombing my attempt to negotiate my third one (literally failed.   I still have to work through these shitty voices while running my own business, as I increase rates, create new offerings and quote individuals and organizations for work (the self-dev never ends, yall. Back to my client- lemme tell ya, she is the complete opposite of aggressive, unreasonable and ungrateful.  But thats the thing. We trick ourselves into “anticipating” all the ways someone can retaliate and reject us, and stop ourselves from playing powerfully and asking for what we really deserve.  Listening to these lies should NOT be a part of your planning and strategy, Sis. Theyll only sabotage you from showing up powerfully and asking for what you want confidently. Why? Because the job of those voices are to protect you from rejection and hurt. Their job is to stop you from trying at all or to half-ass it and negotiate small like, “Id like a 10, 000 No? Ok” when you really should “talk about a 30, 000 increase in salary and a promotion to Senior. ” If these money conversations are hard for you, thats where I come in.  My job is to help you recognize those shithead voices that are trying to “protect” you (bless ‘em) and find ways to walk into your compensation conversations without them. Our work together is to help you come from a place of power, to be fully in your leadership and personal authority, instead of being driven by fear. Heres how we did it. We spent 2 full sessions ramping up and prepping for this (although we talked about it since her first Chemistry Session with me) and one 15-minute Life Line call before the scheduled meeting (youll know about these when we work together.   Hella coaching to get her in the most effective mindset and confidence she needed to put those lying inner voices in MF-ing check. We unpacked the challenges and habits that come with being a self-identified WOC. This isnt a one and done thing, this is the bulk of the work we do and is a continuous thread throughout the 6-month program. Got clear on her list of demands. She was already certain on the title change she would ask for, but wasnt sure on the money piece. Based on her market research, I pushed her to ask for 20, 000 - 30, 000 more than what she was making (Im certain at one point I said she should be asking for 40k. Im really ambitious for my clients) which she was really uncomfortable with. (Important note: if youre not uncomfortable, youre not asking for enough) Built her case to back it up (a. k. a. You have to prove youre worth it. Its important to note that you cant just ask for an unwarranted raise and promotion, you have to present a clear, beefy, bulky and badass case that youre worth the money, title, and all da things. This was on my client to do the work and organize her case, as she knows her role, achievements and the market standards best. She used my worksheets and templates to fill in any blanks and prep. Role played. Now, I know what youre thinking, role playing doesnt work because the “fake” person pretending to be your stakeholder simply isnt them. But youve probably only role played with an awkward classmate or your colleagues during a whack mandatory training (both of these people dont care much to go all in. Best believe I kept it real, difficult and made my client uncomfortable in service of her preparation. Hella more coaching on her believing that she was truly worthy of all of this and more. Because all the strategies and prep wouldnt mean shit if she didnt believe in herself. This cant be forced, meaning, I cant just tell her, “youre worth it” and she magically embodies that and owns that. After all our work, our gurl was ready and EXCITED to negotiate for the first time ever. (I absolutely LOVE the moment with a client feels the thrill of negotiating like a badass. Believe me when I say, negotiating can be fun.   You already know the happy beginning: hump=bump. This is a new beginning because this fatty increase in pay and newfound confidence stays with her forever. Homegirls got the skills, tools and experience to make this repeatable for more raises and promotions for the rest of her career. What about you? Do you have challenges with negotiating? Do you have any negotiating wins under your belt? What are you taking away from this? Its my birthday month! Where my Libra sisters at? This year, I not only got poison oak on my birthday hike (not recommended) I also got in a mental funk even if I ended my revolution around the sun with so much love, community and achievement. Naturally, I wrote a letter to my future self on acceptance and shared it. Then the Entrepinays Summit happened! This summit was lit.  Do you know what it feels like to be surrounded by 200+ people who understand you and your lived experience, without even saying a word to them about yourself? Do you know how moving and life changing that can be? Its rare. Its exceptional and thats what the Entrepinays Summit was able to achieve again in DOUBLE the size and space and time on their second year. The thoughtfulness and execution to build authentic sisterhood that uplifts and supports and SEES each other. As a speaker, I poured my heart and soul into my lightning talk and my Badass WOC Negotiator for Entrepreneurs workshop. All I can express is my gratitude to find space that was made for us. There is so much we can achieve when we invest in ourselves and in each other, and create space for each other. And a special shoutout to my September ‘19 Group Coaching Cohort! Yall remember when I kept yelling about the launch of my 6-week group coaching program Badass WOC Negotiators. We completed our program a few weeks ago, and I couldnt be more proud of the results. Major achievements were made in this short time and strong foundations were built to negotiate like bosses moving forward. One member received an immediate 10k increase on week 2, with the promise to work on getting 20k more by end of year One member negotiated a 5k increase prior to the groups start, and is prepping to negotiate an additional increase with her upcoming promotion by end of year. talk about breaking barriers! One member learned how to tastefully call out a lowball offer from recruiters, and confidently walk away from a bad deal to wait for the right opportunity instead of settling A couple members learned how to activate their voices and start giving critical feedback to their managers, without cowering in fear And guess what? If you want in on the January '20 cohort, I GOT YOU SIS. Schedule an interest chat with me to be a part of the next group of Badass WOC Negotiators. We create bonds, break barriers, and attract BANK into our lives. Enrollment begins November 11th! This Tuesday I led my workshop Badass WOC Negotiators at General Assembly SF for 40+ Women of Color  - it was f*cking incredible.  I cant even explain to you the joy of sharing a room with these individuals who all left ready to claim space, more money and fulfilling work for themselves.  So. Much. Badassery.  We went through only two exercises: To understand four of the most common mindsets that deactivate the voices of WOC, destroying our confidence to ask for what we want and deserve To shift our belief systems and become truly confident in the idea that we are deserving of what we ask for. (the inner-work needed before a negotiation) In the end we all left hyping each other up and most importantly,  HYPING OUR DAMN SELVES UP.  We dont do enough of this and it is fuel we need to develop the skill of negotiating confidently. Heres why this is timely and what I shared with the group: Remember in April when there was a bunch of news around Equal Pay Day? Well, that was White Womens Equal Pay Day. Yall its August 22nd, Black Womens Equal Pay Day.  That is the estimatedday a Black Woman would have to work into 2019, to make how much a White Man made in 2018. Native American Womens Equal Equal Pay Day is September 23rd. Latina Womens Equal Pay Day is November 20th. Thats almost an entire year's worth of extra work for WOCs to catch up to what White Males made at the end of  MF-ing LAST YEAR.  Its freakin time WOCs got the pay, positions and recognition we deserve. Im here to say YES, there are racist, sexist systems working against us. AND what we can control and be more intentional about is activating our voices and negotiating. We can obtain more tools, resources, and strategies to start self-advocating on an individual level. Negotiation is the gift that keeps on giving.  Those who have worked with me have been able to get their dream jobs, 20-40% pay increases in new jobs and leadership roles.  Its why I decided to create a group just for it: Badass WOC Negotiators. Ill be hosting a 30-minute interest chat for anyone curious about the group program via zoom video on Tuesday, August 27th at 12pm PST.  Register to  join the call here! Are you the same as me thinking  Oh, CRAP, its AUGUST?   Did you feel as suffocated and pressured by July as I did?   And now August is just rolling through casually saying yeah, gurl, were one month closer to 2020! This period is our mid-year review time to go over checks and balances.  If youre a New Years resolution kind of gal, time to check in to see if you hit your 2019 goals or not. During this time of reflection lets also see if: you really gave a f*ck or not you had good intentions but prioritized other things 🤷🏽‍♀️ you simply changed your mind. your secret is safe with me) Orrrr you totally dominated your goals and if youre onto bigger, better things! Either way, youre most likely somewhere different than you were this January. If youve been with me for awhile, you know I set a one-word intention at the beginning of each year. And for 2019, my intention was  MASTERY. As I check in and reflect on all the new clients Ive enrolled and served, the growing number of workshops Ive planned and facilitated, the companies Ive collaborated with and the new friends and community Ive intentionally built, I feel a higher level of mastery. Im celebrating all of this AND Im also aware that theres so much more mastery I want to connect with and bring to life.  I know that if I stay intentional, Ill get to where I really want to be.  Even if some days I feel lost and hopeless, I know that if I keep at it with small steps, Ill look back one day and think, wow, this wasnt an accident. Ill know and say "Yep, I did that. So, in honor of building more mastery and being intentional about the rest of 2019, Im continuing my mission to close the leadership and wage gap for Women of Color! I have collaborated with some amazing organizations to host my workshop, Badass WOC Negotiators - join me in SF and Oakland. For more info and tickets please see the links below! San Francisco: August 20th @ General Assembly SF Oakland: August 26th @ UpperCloud Media Also, were still accepting applications for my group coaching program that launches in September! Join other WOC across the U. S. in leveling up their mindset to get the pay, position, and recognition they deserve in their life and career. So. how are you doing so far with your intentions? If it's going well then WOOHOO. —What are you doing to celebrate? Whats possible from this new point? If not, its all good! Maybe consider what wasnt really resonating about those goals? Whats still in the way? What would you like to do instead? Yall, now that I got your attention with the first official post of my profesh photos  👀  let me share the most exciting news:  🎉 Im officially launching my group coaching program on September 3, 2019: Badass WOC Negotiators. 🍾 This 8-week “bootcamp” program is virtual and remote, and its open for enrollment of WOCs across the entire U. S. 👉🏽 These 8 weeks are designed to help high-achieving, busy Women of Color become BADASS negotiators, and level up their influence, pay and positions. 👉🏽Get the tools, resources and the mindset to get your next 20-30% raise (or more) get that next promotion or high ticket client, and gain influence without selling your soul. This has been a big ol labor of love all summer developing a group format, outside of my 1-on-1 work. 😌 Ill be offering an early bird discounted rate for sign ups before July 31st! So. 👏🏽Get. 👏🏽At. 👏🏽Me. ✨✨Interested in learning more? You can 1) slide into my DMs or 2) Click the link in my bio: Badass WOC Negotiators Group Coaching! ✨✨ -Nadia P. Sis, let me help you help yourself: 1. Download the " 4 Things Badass WOC Leaders DON'T Say " Infographic. Bring awareness and practice replacing submissive statements many of us sayunconsciously, with confidence and realness 2. Book a free 30-minute Chemistry Session. Let's hop on a zoom video call together. You'll get clear on what you really want in your career and life and how you can design that in with coaching. Working from home for my biz hasnt been all sunshine and 🌈s, yall. Like anything, theres ⬆️s and ⬇️s, but I love the benefits of the “digital nomad” lifestyle—like being able to be distracted by my cats. Ive been reflecting on the difficulties of WFH + the mindset and habit shifts needed to be productive and fruitful. On one hand, my commute of 3 ft has really helped me recover from a decade of MUNI delays ptsd (its a real thing, I swear.   On the other hand, the comfort of home has a lot of seduction to doing things that make me feel like Im being “lazy. ” And, the very next day, Ill be on the other side of the spectrum and overwork and not go outside until 5pm (shame on me. Aside from organizational habits to stay balanced and on top of my shit, here are a few thoughts around generational and cultural “un-ravelings” Ive had to do: Being able to work remotely👩🏽‍💻 is a privilege that I dont take for granted. As the daughter of hard working immigrants, I witnessed my parents work hard IRL, in physically intense roles (my mom was a nurse and care home owner, my dad owned an auto repair shop. My parents couldnt have dreamed their daughter would be able to make a living from her computer and phone from anywhere—TBH, I didnt know this was the direction I was going until I started coaching. With that privilege comes a certain guilt that I recognize a lot of my POC and First Generation American clients experience: 👉🏽I feel guilty when I complain that this work is hard, “because my parents had it harder”.  👉🏽I feel guilty when I dont “have enough time” for working out/my partner/my friends/life outside of my work, “because my parents worked a million times more than I did AND had kids and elders to support. ”  👉🏽I felt so guilty when I left my high-paying, secure job in pursuit of meaningful work and purpose, because it felt like I was “taking all their sacrifices for granted. ” How? Write down and/or say out loud three things you are grateful for for 14 days, despite the guilt. Gratefulness is truly a practice and an art, and the power of it comes alive when youre intentional about it. Talk to your parents or any elders and thank them for a single thing or everything theyve done to help you self-actualize, follow your passions and live your wildest dreams. Focus on your passion and pay it forward in community. I know that building community, especially in service and with other WOCs always helps me center and connect with my why Im working so hard in the first place, and helps me find ways I can use my privilege to make a positive impact. Be aware of when this guilt is present and isnt serving your work or your emotional well being. Practice gratefulness to re-center and move forward in action. Theres been a lot of “shoulds” flying around my client conversations lately. “UGH! I should know better by now. I do know better, and Im not doing what I should be doing. “I know I should be more understanding because hes going through some hard life stuff, but my manager really pissed me off today. “I shouldnt be surprised I got rejected, Im under qualified for this role anyway. ” “I shouldnt be so heartbroken, this isnt my first break up and I should know how to be happy by myself by now. Bull shit. Listen, we as humans really shit on ourselves hard and love to play the self-blame game on not being a perfect, understanding, level-headed, balanced and successful person at all times. My ears burn every time I hear someone criticize themselves with a “should. ” Heres what I know: Youve got it all wrong, sis. Every time youre thinking you should do something and feeling that guilt or self-hate, theres a sneaky little saboteur voice, an inner critic or a thinking trap inside of you. It's influencing to only feel bad about a "should" story you believe is real, and it hold you back from acting in a true and clear way. Instead, you can acknowledge that you know better, and its hard to distance yourself from making the same habitual mistakes over and over again. You can give yourself permission to understand your boss is going through a hard time AND be pissed at something he said or did to you today. You can pat yourself on the back for going after the job of your dreams, even if you didn't get it. Then start getting curious on what you can do differently as you keep trying. (Also, if youre going for a job youre not under qualified for, youre not aiming high enough, IMO. You can give space to experience the heartbreak for what it is, as messy and hard as it is. You can accept that you can be happy on your own and yearn to fill that desire to find a partner you can love and be loved by. There are infinite new possibilities for you when you shift away from you "should" expectation. Heres a tip to start noticing if youre shaping yourself: For the next 7 days starting keeping a “should” tally. Seriously, how many times are you thinking or saying out loud “I should this” and “I should that” in a negative way that does you no service. Be curious and dont hold any judgements. At the end, see how many shoulds you collect. Once you start that self-awareness train, you wont be able to stop and really start seeing it everywhere in others and yourself. Thats the start to distancing yourself from this habit we ALL have: just notice. -Nadia P. You'll get clear on what you really want in your career and life and how you can design that in with coaching. Warning, this post has some heavy shit in it (as if the title didnt give that off. In a single week, I found out one of my cousins and a good friend from high school passed away. These tragedies and losses happened only a few days apart from each other and shook my home community hard. Im no stranger to death, grieving, healing and celebrating the beautiful life that was once a part of my world. I grew up in a care home my mom ran, and she was licensed for hospice care. This was also the home where my dad passed after we found out he had terminal cancer and only a few months left. Also, I have a HUGE Filipino family (my mom had 9 brothers and sisters and my dad had 10. So, Ive grown used to saying “with big families, theres a lot of life, a lot of loss and a whoooole lot of love. ” This post isnt about my resilience to death, but sharing with you something Im ashamed of: I overcommitted to great opportunities this month to do contracted work for great change-making organizations and initiatives Im excited about. My overcommitments are so big, that Ive barely had time to do biz dev and admin work for my private practice and end of year goals. After my initial reactions of shock, extreme sadness and even a small breakdown after finding out about my cousin, my first shitty thought was if the funeral service falls on X day when I have the workshop with X company, what will I do? Then I immediately felt like the worst person in the universe. Pause and zoom in here. I held onto the immense guilt I felt because my mind went immediately to business as usual, and thought my schedule was more important. I held onto that guilt as I tried to focus on the tasks I committed to and just get through it. We do this all the time in our busy, chaotic lives. How many times have you had your schedule so packed you had no time to be present in what you were actually doing? How many times have you had so much shit to do, the soonest you could schedule a hangout with your friends you love and miss so much, was two to three weeks out? How many times have you prioritized work that gives you money over creative projects for your soul, random activities just for fun or simply adding play into your life? How many times have you been so busy, you ignored any sort of stress, overwhelm, sadness, anger or frustration, because you had to do only do the logical and responsible things? You wish for more time in the day, but what you really need to do is learn how to slow down, pay attention to what you truly value most and make room to experience life. Heres what happened when I finally chose to pause work and slow down for just 30 minutes. I closed all my tabs and started deep breathing with my eyes closed. And, suddenly, the tears came. Suddenly, I was in the depths of my sadness that I didnt want to release because my belief was if I let this loose, I wont be functioning, I wont get my work done. Here are the lessons I got from that exploration: Life is so finite and precious Work is fulfilling AND I dont want to be a slave to it I want to be able to control my work schedule, not for it to control me What is my motivation for overcommitting to the point Im imbalanced and not doing as many fun things outside of my business? I have a self-sabotaging belief/voice in my head that I need to make more money in order to be happier (Im always actively working to distance myself from this voice) I want to spend more time with my family and friends, and thats part of the positive impact I want to make in this world- by being fully present, instead of letting my mind wander to work This journey of starting my own business was meant to support me in shaping the joyful lifestyle I envisioned Being joyful to me isnt just feeling good, its allowing myself to experience the full range of being a human being. That includes experiencing emotions like anger, loss and sadness as a whole. That also includes life experiences outside of what goes on a resume or LinkedIn. After the 30 minutes, I splashed water on my face, stretched upward and got back to work. Making room for sadness didnt distract me. It didnt break my workflows or my life schedule, but NOT making room for it to breathe and expand did. I know that was heavy, but this is what happens to us in real life. Being present and allowing these experiences to be is a huge part of my work with my clients, who have equally chaotic, busy thoughts, inner critics and goal-getting lives. What is one thing you can make room for soon? Whats one thing you can do to create the lifestyle you really want to have? Nadia Im upset. This post is for the pissed off AND busy WOCs. Yesterday, I was working on an agenda for a new workshop with one of my incredible friends, Christine Wang. Were both coaches and advocates for women empowerment and racial justice work. Halfway through our brainstorming session, in the middle of a cafe in San Francisco, Christine got a news notification that the Alabama Governor signed the most restrictive abortion band in all 50 States. Doctors are almost 100% outlawed from performing the procedure, with no exception for pregnancies as a result from rape or incest. We were silent. We were outraged. And, we had more work to complete together in the next hour. We shared our feelings and individual knowledge on the legal and social aspects of this law passing. I shared how I cried uncontrollably the day after the last presidential elections: when I woke up on my pillow, waiting for the MUNI to work, at my desk, in a conference room, over my chow mein at lunch and once more at home. After we took deep breaths, we validated why our work to help WOCs shift from surviving to thriving was important, and we hugged in the kind of hug you give to someone you know sees you and is in complete solidarity with you. Then, we continued to focus and work on our exciting workshop to help uplift Asian leaders in technology and social impact work. On my drive home, I started drifting to flashbacks when I was a Senior Account Manager in my tech startup, coming into office to close deals and hit my quota. For awhile, I was the only WOC on my team, and there were some days, my heart cried over another black man or woman getting shot and killed by police. Black Lives Matter was on the rise, and on the inside I was devastated over the rising political climate, felt isolated and alone. On the outside, it was business as usual. My executive team, my manager and my team never took a stance nor did they even acknowledge these things, even if we saw multiple marches on Market Street of San Francisco. Isolated. Lonely. Angry. Sad. Then back to business as usual. Despite the shitty news, it felt so good to know yesterday that I chose a path where I can make an impact for underrepresented people through my coaching practice. It felt so good to know Im building community and sisterhood with other changemakers like Christine. Im sharing this because I know some, if not all of my clients and readers live busy, on-the-go lives and are most likely shook, too. Im sharing this because many of the women I work with are the only one in their companies or teams like I was- the only Person of Color or the only Woman, and might not have someone to open up to or feel with them. If youre reading this, I see you. Im here with you and sending you a virtual hug before you have to get back to it. I want to remind you to find time to process and heal. Take a pause in your busy day and in your goals, to process the lessons from upset, and take care of your emotional and mental well being. Dont hesitate to hit reply if you need a witness, Sis. In solidarity and still upset, Nadia P. Ill be announcing some events on my speaking page soon. If youd like to have me do a lunch and learn or workshop at your office, hit reply and lets chat. To build sisterhood and help WOCs in tech go from surviving to thriving, Im launching a Group Coaching program this Summer! Level up your work relationships, influence AND money in 10 weeks. Join the waitlist for info on registration here. Raise your hands if you ever stopped yourself from going for a role, promotion or salary increase because you were scared of hearing “NO”? 🙆🏾‍♀️ Both my hands are raised, gurl. In essence, that means were scared of conflict, difficult conversations and negotiating our needs. Watch this video to get more insight on why were so terrified of NO and tips on why you should start normalizing NO and get excited to hear it. I want to tell you a secret I tell most of my clients: I didnt realize how strong my aversion to being told no was until I started working in technology sales. Cold calling strangers and CEOS to buy your software service will get you used to “no” reeeeeaaaaal fast. Here are a few things that I didnt realize I “inherited” as an Asian American daughter of immigrants, that added to my desire to avoid the “NO” in my career: Deep rooted submissive habits that were seemingly harmless, like not talking back to elders, teachers and superiors Being told to not push for more because I should be grateful for the chance/the opportunity/having my foot in the door Accepting being told “no” when I wanted too much or was too ambitious in my childhood I was taught that “NO” was the final word and to STFU. End of story. I realized I never learned the power of embracing NO. I never learned the power of going beyond the NO, being relentless to go after what I really wanted, to have difficult conversations like a pro, to facilitate collaboration and inspire people to work with me so we could both get what we wanted. All that to say, I never learned the value of negotiation. This is one of my favorite leadership skills Id love to teach all Women of Color to embrace. Negotiations was how I made a shit ton of money as an account manager through closing big deals, negotiating two 20% increase in salaries and really navigating how I could effectively make the biggest impact at work and get recognition for it. -Nadia 2. This Summer I'll be launching a 10-week group coaching bootcamp, to help busy WOCs in Tech become BADASS negotiators. Grow your confidence, value and sisterhood. Contact me here for more info and to join the waitlist. You ever look up in the middle of your hard work and hustle and think, “WTF am I doing this all for again! ” Obvious answers are: A paycheck to pay rent, bills and debt (duh, Nadia) I gotta save for that next vacation! Flights, Airbnbs and  drinks on the beach arent dont pay for itself! Working to put a down payment on a house (good for you. Because I love my job! Even if its engulfing my entire life Yeah, I get that we all gotta eat, but Im not talking about the surface level obvious. All my clients have come to me during these WTF am I doing this all for again moments in their career. They come to me when theyre experiencing problems with work relationship dynamics, overwhelm, burnout, a road block or when “there shouldnt be anything wrong, because I have it good and Im so lucky for my financial and professional success, but somethings off” What those moments are really telling us are: “Im not living my purpose right now. ” “Im not showing up as my best self right now. ” “Im not making the impact I know I could be making right now. ” Theyve lost the connection with their natural creativity, imagination and intuition, because theyre too damn busy or lost in the daily grind. This prevents them from really connecting to their Big Vision of how they want to show up in their work and in the world, and to brainstorm what else is possible. In these times, to clear out the “WTF fog” I help my clients re-learn and practice one of my favorite leadership skills: Visioning. you can reverse engineer from that Vision and start working with purpose, showing up powerfully as yourself and creating the impact you really want to make today. This video was taken a couple days ago and crudely edited by moi, when I was smiling at my second time at Ocean Beach in the same day, since it was a rare sunny day in SF. Whether youre a business badass or a 9-5er you can start practicing your creating your Vision today, Sis. Instead, ask more effective questions to take your power back in your current situation! Like… What do I really want? What shifts do I have to make to achieve this? How can I get a little bit closer to this TODAY? You have to want it bad, because its 👏🏾 hard 👏🏾 work 👏🏾. But, if youre my kind of people (which I suspect you are because youre here) we DGAF about hard work if we know were “in step” towards living that delicious Vision. With gratitude, Nadia P. Sis, let me help you help yourself: Book a free 30-minute Chemistry Session with me! Well get hella clear on your Vision and whats possible if we work together. If youre in The Bay, catch my next meetup for WoC Leaders- Sisters Who Lead! Theres still 3 seats left for next Monday, April 29th! Well be round table discussing Self-Advocacy as a WoC in the workplace! It drives me crazy when my cats suddenly get scared by a slight movement I make or a random shadow on the wall. The second they feel fear, they jump five feet high into the air and run away to hide and survive another day. On the other hand, I freakin love when they freeze after seeing something unfamiliar, like another random shadow on the wall, and slowly stalk over in curiosity. They cautiously start pawing at the thing, determining if its a threat or not. Their brave and playful investigation to make sure theyre safe before their next 10-hour nap is adorable. Humans have a mix of the fight or flight reactions in us, too. The unique thing about us is that our survival instincts activate at seemingly harmless environments and situations. Examples are when doing a presentation in front of really important people, while deciding to make a career change or taking a dance class. These instincts dont just protect us from physical danger, they save us from the possibility of experiencing humiliation, rejection and shame. Why? Because that shit SUCKS. These experiences sometimes hurts so bad we want to crawl under a rock and never come back. So, logically, we want to protect ourselves. from childhood to adulthood, We build defense mechanisms to avoid pain all the time. Cats do it, too. Thats why they love high vantage points to view their surroundings, or eat with their backs against a wall. It creates a sense of safety because they know no one can sneak up on them when theyre most vulnerable. Humans, bless our souls, also try to see and know everything to avoid pain. We do things like overthink, stress and project our fears and worries onto others, in hopes well find the perfect resolution to our problems. We write lists of all the pros and cons to determine if our lovers are “the one” and if we should marry them, instead of having deep and meaningful conversations with them. We stay silent, play small and dont ask for what we want, because its uncomfortable to engage in difficult conversations with people we have to see everyday. We make spreadsheets on if we should invest time, money and energy into a new career, and hope the data we gather will pave a clear path to a happier work life. As a Woman of Color and a coach for Women of Color, I know we typically work to protect ourselves from things like rejection, failure and shame THRICE as much as non-WOCs. Does any of this sound familiar? If it doesnt, TELL ME YOUR SECRETS NOW! Actually, heres a secret: Its not just you. Everybody does this in some way, shape or form. I mean, Im the BIGGEST overthinking, word-vomit-projector of all my worries there is. Its my natural survival instinct thinking talking nonstop about it to my loved ones is being proactive, or Im unconsciously hoping someone I tell will save me. And, heres the point: You will never reach your full potential if you allow your defense mechanisms to define how you show up in the world. Heres some hope: You can change. You can build your awareness muscles to recognize when your natural survival instincts are overcorrecting and start to hold you back. Seriously. Its what I help my clients with everyday. By building their awareness muscles and acting, they have achieved incredible things they previously thought were impossible like: One got the leadership role she wanted and hired a team of her own, and strives to be the thoughtful, confident and balanced boss she never had Another negotiated for a 23% raise like a badass, when she was terrified of the dreaded “no” or appearing “ungrateful” Another finally stood up to her gaslighting, mean-spirited boss and spoke her mind, regardless of how uncomfortable it was. Shes now addicted to using her voice They didnt stop being scared to accomplish these things. They stopped jumping five feet high and stopped living in their hiding places. Imagine, learning how to turn up the play and curiosity in your life. Imagine being able to slow down and pausing to explore the things that scare or challenge you most. Imagine facing the unknown with a smile on your face and understanding the value of risk taking. Imagine failing and laughing, ready to move forward. Its possible for you, too. (P. Interested in support to shift away from survival mode all the time and making some big ol changes in your life? I got you, girl. Sign up for a free Clarity Session with me. ) It smells fresh cut grass…. warm laundry after the dryer. baked cookies straight outta the oven! Thats the sweet, sweet smell of change. As a Leadership Coach, change is everywhere around me. In fact, its my job to actively advocate and exercise my ability to change. What does that mean? Well, my clients dont enter into a coaching relationship to stay in their current status quo. They want change so badly, nay, they need change so badly, theyre ready to invest in powerful support to help them do things theyve never done before. As a result of building the “muscle” and tolerance to change, I have lived an extraordinary life thus far, am excited to take risks that energize me and continue to advance in my fulfillment in helping Women of Color grow their leadership. Here are some of the incredible changes some of my clients made in 2019 so far: One took the leap to leave her soul-crushing office job, and start the freelancing business of her dreams Another was finally promoted into a leadership role, with an opportunity to hire and run her own team Two are starting new jobs at a 20% increase in pay, and a clear path for career growth that energizes them Two are doing the hard and often uncomfortable work to heal their relationships with their parents, as adult children The common theme between all of these dope, incredible people? They were ALL afraid of change. They ALL believed that achieving these things were next to impossible. They were ALL afraid of failure, rejection and pain. And, they ALL did the work. Whats the work? To be brave. To change from the inside out and take care of any internal blockers that stopped them from even moving forward. To take the first steps in resonant action, despite all their fears and worries. To learn how to handle failure. To keep doing the work over and over again. Now, heres a secret: The willingness and ability to change your life starts as a choice and becomes a series of actions. You cant just say, “I want the lawn to be cut, I want my laundry to be done and I want freshly baked cookies in my mouth, universe! ” and expect it to magically get done that second (trust me, Ive asked the universe for a million dollars a million times and it still hasnt delivered. The reality is if you dont outsource that work (I mean, it is 2019, Im sure yall can just download an app to do a lot of this on-demand) you have to get out the lawn mower, mow that lawn and dispose of the freshly cut grass. You have to get up, sort through your stinky laundry, do the wash, wait, load the dryer, wait, fold the clothes and put them away. You have to buy the ingredients or “cheat” with some pre-made cookie dough and make those MF-ing cookies! Now, a lifelong dream like opening the sustainable fashion line bubbling inside of you, starting a blog that will change lives or reaching a six-figure salary sounds like a lot more work. because it is. Its much more work than making cookies. But, before you preemptively opt out of the work to chase those big, juicy goals of yours, I encourage you to consider: What changes do I want in my life? Whats stopping me from changing the thing? What would happen if I dont change a damn thing? Lastly, what support do I have? Often times, even if you make the choice, its hard to start when you feel like youre alone on this journey of change. My clients know the power of asking for help. As growing leaders, theyre high performing and successful on their own, and understand how much more powerful and effective they are when theyre supported. Support can look like many things: your friends, familia and colleagues, or claiming a mentor who has done what you want to do, or investing in a coach to experience the unique magic of having an observer with a birds eye view of your strengths, blind spots and new options for you to choose from. So, here are some quick take aways to have the sweet, sweet smell of change as your new perfume: Make the choice Practice courage Do the work Repeat. may be celebrate your start with some fresh, warm cookies! Actually, definitely celebrate with some fresh, warm cookies. Nadia P. Interested in support on making some big ol changes in your life? I got you, girl. Sign up for a free Clarity Session with me.

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